Random Thoughts of a Retiree Updated !!

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My Random Thoughts

Prior to Retirement my wife was Passive Aggressive and now since I retired she is Aggressive Aggressive.
I'm not worried about Artificial Intelligence but I am very worried about Natural Stupidity.
When my wife gets out of bed I say with emotion the line from the Frankenstein movie - "It's Alive", "It's Alive" - She doesn't find it funny.
When my wife starts yelling at me ( I usually am innocent ) I say the line Igor said to the Frankenstein monster in "Son of Frankenstein" but instead of saying "Igor Friend" I say "Rick Friend" and I keep repeating it - She usually stops and just walks away.
If you're healthy and financially stable Retirement can be a wonderful time.
I originally thought retirement was going to be like the movie "Fiddler on the Roof" where I would sit around contemplating life, singing about Tradition and dreaming about being a Rich Man but that has not been the case.
Who was the sick individual that came up with the saying - "There is more than 1 way to skin a cat" ?
When I first retired, my wife Kim didn't say I was retired - she said that I just didn't have a job.
I told her I now work for "Kim Industries" - The boss is tough, there's no chance for promotion, and there's definitely no time off.
I didn't realize until retirement that paper towels are apparently off-limits, and my "Honey Do" list turned into a "Honey Do or Else" list.
My wife gets annoyed when she works a double shift, and I refer to it as "My Vacation".
She also doesn't seem to believe in physics because she can't understand why I can't be in 2 places at once.
One day I was watching the movie "The Hulk" and when my wife walked by the room I said to her "You wouldn't like me when I am angry" and her response was "I don't like you now!"
When I am watching True Crime stories and she asks what I am doing I say homework.
I keep trying to convince her that there are no deadlines in retirement but she's not buying it.
Since retiring, I've noticed how little of the day is left after all the complaining. And yes, napping is a perfectly legitimate retirement activity.
Though I lost 50 lbs. and I have maintained this weight loss for 2 years my wife continues to say my portions are much bigger than they should be. Each week when I weight myself if I lose weight or maintain the same weight I tell her that I wasn't "Portion Compromised" for the week.
If you are interested in my Free "Weight Loss" Story click the following link - My Story
People often think retirement means you have endless free time, but that's not true.
Retirement is a great chance to enjoy what you've accomplished and watch your children become adults you're proud of.
The best part of Retirement ? No meetings, project deadlines, or unrealistic demands, and the freedom to do whatever you want.
When my wife retires we are going to get 2 Stair Lifts, install them on the left and right side of the staircase then race all day.
Since retiring my wife says I am a riot but riots have to be stopped !!
After months of retirement, I can't stop thinking about the song "The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia". The lyrics are "That's the night the lights went out in Georgia". "That's the night they hung an innocent man". If a prisoner is hung, the lights won't go out. If electrocuted the lights would go out. How has no one noticed this before.
You are not a failure unless you fail then give up.
Ulysses S. Grant failed at almost everything he did until he joined the army, moved up the ranks to become a general then defeated the confederacy saving the country, let the confederate soldiers return home and eventually he was elected president.
You learn more from failing than you do from succeeding so failing is not necessarily a bad thing but rather it can be a great learning experience.
I told my wife "Kim" that I now work for "Kim Industries.", the boss is tough, there's no chance for promotion, there's definitely no time off but I wouldn't trade this job for anything in the world - Love You Honey!!

Looking back on things that I miss:

Brigham's ( Raspberry Ricky's and Lime Ricky's were the best )
Friendly's
The Barn Deli
Pewter Pot ( Hot Blueberry Muffins with Ice Cream on Top )
Hilltop Steakhouse
The Earl of Sandwich ( The Best Cheese Steaks )
Radio Shack ( They had any gadget you could ever want )
Drive-Ins ( 10 years old in 1968 saw Planet of the Apes at the Saugus Drive-In which became a Showcase cinema and is now an Amazon warehouse )
4th of July Block Parties
Free concerts in Boston at the Hatch Shell and Government Center - ( Dion, Blood Sweat and Tears, Little Richard, The 4 Tops, The Everly Brothers, War with Eric Burdon, Johnny Rivers, The Chi-lites, the Stylistics, The Monkees and Paul Revere and the Raiders etc. )
All Day Blues Concerts at Great Woods now Xfinity Center in Mansfield MA ( Stevie Ray Vaughn, Wet Willy, Koo Koo Taylor, Buddy Guy etc. )
The "Midnight Special" TV Show
The "In Concert" TV Show - ( Got to see Bowie, Steely Dan, Alice Cooper, The Allman Brothers, The Doobie Brothers, etc. )
The "This Week in Baseball" TV Show
World Series games played during the week days and week-ends - I remember watching after school the 1969 World Series when the Mets beat the Orioles.
The original Twilight Zone TV Show - ( The stories were and still are the scariest ever made - Rod Sterling was a genius )
The "Tonight Show with Johnny Carson" - He was and will always be the best - I don't know anyone that watches late night talk shows anymore - I did also like Craig Ferguson because he was a naturally funny down to earth person.
Some of my favorite TV Shows - ( Rat Patrol, Green Hornet, Man from Uncle, The Wild Wild West, Time Tunnel, Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea, Kung Fu, Mission Impossible and of course Combat )
Cartoons - ( Johnny Quest, The Herculoids and Space Ghost )
Marching in Drum Corps (IC Reveries 1969-1973) - It was a great time and I met a lot of wonderful people - We practiced at the Everett MA Armory and I was acting like a punk during a practice. At the break a few of the guys administered a re-adjustment beating. I decided I was going to quit so for the second half of practice I waited out in front of the building. As I was always with the Corps I never heard how the Corps sounded as a whole and it was fantastic. I went back the next practice, apologized and didn't act like a punk again.
The World Open at Manning Blow in Lynn MA - Got to see Corps from all over the country and Canada.
Happy Hours ( When 1 person who didn't drink did the driving ) - There were Happy Hours every Thursday and Friday at 4 PM and many times there were bands playing - It was a great time.
When the New England Patriots could pick up first downs
Watching Bobby Orr
Pleasure Island Wakefield MA ( Disney of the Northeast 1959 - 1969 ) - ( The 50 foot whale Moby is still there ) - Click this link for the current status - Moby Dick
If interested Facebook has the group "Ghosts of Pleasure Island Wakefield, Massachusetts" and the moderator does walking tours from time to time.
As indicated below the sign for Pleasure Island can still be seen on Route 128 though the water that Moby has been residing in for the past 55 years now belongs to the Edgewater Business Park.

Pleasure Island Sign

The following animation details my personal Moby Dick experience at Pleasure Island.

Looking back at things that I don't miss:

Driving to work on Route 128 - I did this for 30 years and on a good day it was usually at least an hour or more to get to or from work. This was even when the company that I worked for could be seen from Route 128 or in another case the company was short distance from the Burlington Mall. I feel bad for anyone that has to deal with this each day.
The boredom before cell phones when waiting at doctor's or dentist's office or when waiting for someone.
Only having one chance to reach someone before answering machines came along.
At a phone booth frantically searching for coins when on a call and the operator informed you that you needed to insert more money.
Needing to go to the Library to settle an argument ( We didn't have limitless amounts of knowledge that cell phones provide )
Vinyl records sounding horrible after an album was played so much
Using paper maps on road trips prior to GPS
Having to walk to school no matter the weather
Do you remember the following ? After a while they started shattering and were banned.

Clackers

Only 3 TV Stations
Being only able to watch movies like the Wizard of OZ once a year
Job Interviews - At one interview because my name is Richard the interviewer asked if he could call me Dick and I said No - Didn't get that job - I went on another job interview during a very hot August day and just as the interview started a fire alarm went off. We had to cross the street to the next building then after 20 minutes we went back and the interview continued however I was sweating so much it looked like I had been swimming - Didn't get that job
No one can forget the Blizzard of 78 - Everything was shut down in MA as there was a driving ban on. I worked for a store that had a flat roof and they were worried that the roof might collapse so myself and friends walked down to the store, shoveled the snow off the roof and got paid in cash at the end of the day. On the trip down it looked like an Apocalypse movie as there were no cars on the Lynn Way. My friend Tony thought it was funny that I stepped in dog poop on the trip down then stepped in more dog poop on the way back. I also shoveled for the rest of the week with another friend and once again got paid at the end of each day. So what the Blizzard of 1978 meant for me at 20 years old was shoveling during the day and drinking at the bar at night.
Blizzard of 1978