Things learned in Retirement

Wise Retired Man !!

Things I have learned in Retirement ( So Far )

1. That my family thinks like a fireman sits and waits for a fire that I have nothing to do each day and I just sit waiting for them to call me with chores, errands and projects
2. That after storing something for 20+ years in one place if the object is then moved there is no need to tell your spouse where it was moved to - I know my wife is laughing upstairs when I am downstairs looking for the object and swearing as I can’t find it
3. That if I go downstairs, I am 1 floor and 3 rooms away and my wife yells for me if it I can’t hear what she is saying she gets mad at me - When I get to the bottom of the stairs and can hear her she says never mind - Some times later when we are in the same room she will tell me what she was yelling, other times it may come up in a week or more and still some other times it is just gone forever - Still trying to figure this one out
4. That retirement is not home cooked meals all the time - My wife bought a pressure cooker so I thought she would be cooking all kinds of meals with it but all she cooks with it is food for the dogs - She told me I could lick the spoon when she is done cooking for the dogs so I guess that is something as at least I don’t have to share a bowl with the dogs
5. That when we try to fix something like a dish washer she expects me to have extensive knowledge of the device but I let her know that before I retired I didn’t work for Whirlpool, I didn’t design dishwashers and I didn’t assemble dishwashers
6. That after eating any meal now I fall asleep almost instantly for no more than 30 minutes. It was strange getting used to this but I like it now at it energizes me. I did however have to give up any eating in my car.
7. That letting my wife Kim use my car is always an adventure as she tends to get into fender benders. An example of this is when years ago I was with my kids going through a Wendy’s drive thru - I saw a bent pole and said to my kids “Your mother probably hit that” - My kids started laughing and said she did - These accidents happen more than you would expect so I now refer to them as “Kimcidents” 
8. That if most people are told the side of their car has scratches or dings in it they will most likely say "Someone must have hit me” but when someone tells my wife the side of her car has scratches or dings in it she automatically says “I must have hit something”
9. That there are others that share the same concerns I have about my wife's driving. Recently I told the following story in front of my wife's aunt and sister - I was home one afternoon watching TV while my wife was on route 1 running errands.  The news came on and they broke a story that someone was driving the wrong way on route 1. I called my wife and told her that the news stated that someone was driving the wrong way on route1 and she said "You're telling me" - "There are hundreds of them" - This was just a joke but her sister and aunt believed it was true.
10. That the following I guess are now acceptable when driving

• Going as fast as possible when the traffic light just turns yellow
• If you let 1 car go that means 4 or 5 other cars are entitled to also go
• When merging into traffic on the highway it is ok after merging to slow to 5 mph
• Stopping at a Stop sign is voluntary
• It is ok to stop your car when driving, don't pull to the side of the road, put on your hazard lights on not then go into a building and leave your car in the lane of traffic as if it was in a parking lot

Click on any of the links below to see groups of posts related to retirement, exercise, diet etc.

• Delegation Posts
• Exercise Posts
• Nagging Posts
• Nutrition Posts
• Project Posts
• Retirement Posts
• Rucking Posts